DISCLAIMER: This is a non-fiction piece, so not really a 'story.' This is also SATIRE, which means that the views expressed below are kind of the opposite of what I believe (and if you think they're really my opinions, then we clearly don't know each other). There is one exception though - the part where I talk about nachos. That's legit.
Imagine asking an astronaut what the best view from space is. They might mutter something about the billions of stars composing distant galaxies or maybe something about the vastness of space all around them. Those answers really don’t matter because in the end, they’ll always end on the same response. What’s the best view from space? The United States of America.
Undoubtedly America is the most admired and respected country in the world. While other countries may try to emulate us, they will ultimately fail. We have perfected and mastered democracy, diplomacy, arts, culture, humanitarianism, justice, peace, equality, etc. It should come as no surprise then, that when people around the world realize how their own countries have let them down, they want to immigrate to America. Except when they come, they want to bring their own culture, customs and traditions with them and they shouldn’t. Since Americans have already created a perfect dynamic, there is no room left in our society for their foreign customs and alien traditions.
